Author name: Devora Samet

(1-minute read) Age does matter when it comes to whining and tantrums. Here are two strategies for very young children. Solutions #3 and #4: For children under the age of 4, it is ok to use “substitution” and “distraction.” Substitution means that if the child is whining about a candy, you can offer a different […]

(2-minute read) Last week, I posted two questions about children who whine, nag, and tantrum. To recap, the first strategy was to praise at the rate of ‘six sugars to one vinegar’ whenever the child was doing the opposite of the reds of whining, nagging, and tantrums. In other words, when the child was doing

Question #1: Dear Devora, What would you do if a 4-year old child constantly whines and tantrums? The parent I work with always talks her daughter through it in an attempt to calm her down. But perhaps this is reinforcing the behavior and making it happen even more often! Should I even teach the mom

(4-minute read) Question: Dear Devora, As far as validating children, what happens when an older girl (6th or 7th grader) has been informed of a class change and she tells her parents, “I’m not going to school.” She is stubborn and manipulative and won’t budge. (She doesn’t want to hear what her parents say… She

(1-minute read) Hi All, Last week we discussed one of the general ways we can be invalidating to children, which does the OPPOSITE of calming kids down. Specifically, we talked about “attempting to talk someone out of their feelings.” This week, I’ll share another way we sometimes do the same thing unwittingly. This time, we

(1-minute read) Of course, we’re trying to savor every relaxed moment, every sunshine, every raindrop (we got plenty of those this summer!), every late night with no worries about being late for the school bus tomorrow, and every no-homework night. But some parents and children are starting to think about school again and some might

(2-minute read) One of my amazing moms wrote this social story for her son last year before major trip. Her son saved it and pulled it out before this year’s major trip as he needed some reminders again. She graciously gave me permission to share it with our fellow parents and professionals. Feel free to

(1-minute read) I was driving home late last night and I stopped at a rest stop. A mom waited patiently for her three young kids to use the restroom. The kids then washed their hands, used the XLERATOR hand dryer, and became enamored by it. The strong hot air, the noise, the automatic sensors, it

(1-minute read) Have you noticed that kids (targets) who get bullied sometimes have these huge reactions which makes the bully want to bully them even more? And, of course, because we care about the target, we tell them, “Just ignore the bully!” But that is so invalidating! The target feels so helpless and hopeless that