(1-minute read)
Have you noticed that kids (targets) who get bullied sometimes have these huge reactions which makes the bully want to bully them even more?
And, of course, because we care about the target, we tell them, “Just ignore the bully!”
But that is so invalidating! The target feels so helpless and hopeless that they must continue to suffer in silence. And they believe that the bullying will never end.
Instead, it is far more effective to explain the Reds and Greens of “Giving free entertainment” vs. “Making them pay for it.” In short, we show a drawing that helps kids see how their drama and crying feeds the bully, and when they stop giving free entertainment, the bully loses interest.
This strategy empowers kids with a tool, the tool of “not giving free entertainment,” instead of making them powerless that they should ignore the bully and do nothing about it.
Have a peaceful week!
Yours,
Dr. Devora