It’s not only WHAT you say but HOW you say it

(1-minute read)

One of my students is a super bright young man who has come a REALLY long way! When I did my first visit to his home a couple years ago, he was an 8-year-old tantrumming on the floor underneath a table while pulling down the tablecloth with all the dinner plates, soup bowls, plastic cups, and food and drinks on it.

With extremely hard work and devotion by his parents, ongoing teamwork at school, and lots of skills teaching, he has become quite sophisticated. In fact, I’ve never taught this terminology to anyone before but I dared to try it with him and it worked. Fabulously.

What was it? His mom told me that although we had taught him how to speak respectfully, something was still awry too often. Sometimes it was WHAT he said, and sometimes it was HOW he said it. In other words, even though he was choosing the right words, the WAY he said it came across disrespectful.

Being that he is really smart, I taught him the terms “Content” and “Delivery.” We defined “Content” as the actual words he was saying. “Delivery” implied the body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and attitude with which he said the “Content.”

We then played a game. I made a statement. He had to guess if anything was wrong with the statement, and if so, what was wrong with it: Content or Delivery. He earned points for guessing correctly, which made it more fun. We then switched roles in which he made a statement and I had to guess if it was red or green and if the problem was Content or Delivery.

Sometimes the Content was red, and sometimes the Delivery was red. And sometimes both were red. Of course, the reverse was true as well. Sometimes the Content and Delivery were green.

I am pleased to share that I opened an office this week in the Monsey area where I will be seeing families and children on weekends!

Yes, I am committed to my families and clients in Brooklyn and will continue to visit schools and homes in Brooklyn, as well as conduct office visits during the week.

Have a successful week!


Dr. Devora

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