Bullying Shortcut

                                                          (One minute read)
A friend of mine called me and told me that her 10-year-old daughter has been getting bullied in the bungalow colony. To make matters worse, she keeps going back to those same bullies and hanging out with them, only to be bullied some more! Would one or two sessions fix the problem before they go upstate for the summer???
On the one hand, we can teach kids in one to two sessions how to respond to bullies using “Great Comebacks.” But that’s not always enough to fix the real problem.

Right off the top of my head, I’m thinking of several areas that need to be addressed simultaneously. Here are some of them

  1. Does the child have the inner strength to say the “Great Comebacks” in a confident manner?

  2. Does the child know how to pick “kind” friends?

  3. Does the child know how to initiate conversations and games with nicer girls?

  4. Is the child aware of her own behaviors that might make her an easy bully target?

  5. Is the child giving “free entertainment” when kids bully her?

Each of the above items can be addressed as a separate social skills lesson.

Below are sample “Great Comebacks” that a child can learn to say in response to a bullying attempt

                                                “Great Comebacks

             1. Look who’s talking.

               2. Yeah, right 

               3. (mimic the other person)

               4. Are you talking to me? 

               5. Whatever you say. 

               6. This makes you happy?

               7. You’re right. I said you’re right, ok?

               8. Again? 

               9. And….????

              10.Not getting tired of this?

              11. Nothing better to do?

              12. Here we go again.

              13.You again? Annoying.

              14. And you’re amazing/beautiful/cool!

 

Tips:

  • For “Great Comebacks” to be effective, the child should choose no more than one or two lines, and practice saying them again and again with a safe person (parent, social skills coach or educator) until she does NOT come across defensive.
    Examples:      
  • Bully: You’re such a baby.

  • Child: And…??

  • Bully: You’re lousy at dodge ball!

  • Child: And…..??

  • Bully: You’re so stupid.

  • Child: Look who’s talking!!

  • Bully: Your dress is so weird.

  • Child: Look who’s talking!!

  • As soon as the Great Comeback is said, the child should immediately walk away and go to her friends or nicer peers. She should not stay around to wait for the bully’s next response!

     

        

I will try to address some of the other skills in subsequent blog posts. In the meantime, happy practicing!

Yours,
Devora

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