(1-minute read)
As parents, we hope for peace, joy, love, and happiness in our homes. At times though, we experience the opposite. If you’re experiencing a hostile environment at home, know that you can turn it around and create a positive, happy home. Here are three proven techniques to help turn hostility into harmony and happiness.
1. Abundant Specific Praise and Rewards
While it’s easy to focus on correcting misbehavior, emphasizing and rewarding even small positive behaviors can significantly shift the atmosphere at home. Here are some examples of specific praise.
- Thanks for clearing your plate from the table.
- I appreciate that you put away the laundry instead of throwing the clean laundry back into the hamper.
- It’s great that you remembered to bring home all your books and assignments that you need to do for homework.
- That was a nice thing you said to Dovi. It made him feel good.
2. Validate feelings, thoughts, and wishes
We all want to feel heard and understood, especially children. Validation is NOT about trying to fix the problem in order to make the child happy. It is also NOT about trying to make the bad feelings go away. Instead, validation is acknowledging your child’s feelings, thoughts, wishes, and experiences. Children want to know that you really hear them, understand them, and get them!
3. Schedule Special Mommy/Daddy Time
By spending one-on-one time with your child, it shows your child that he is a priority in your life. There should be no distractions (NO phones, texting, social media, other children interrupting, etc.), and ideally, both the parent and child should choose an activity they enjoy.
By using these techniques consistently for several weeks, the change will become obvious. And when things are going well, don’t give it up. Keep using these techniques forever!
Did I actually say “forever”??
Yes, I did! Who doesn’t want to be praised, acknowledged, validated, and valued with quality time? These are skills to be used with our children and loved ones for the rest of their and our lives.