(1-minute read)
Question:
My kids have been in holiday/Yomtov mode for the past 4 weeks. How do I get them back on track without yelling at them and repeating myself again and again that they need to do homework, go to sleep on time, wake up early, and so forth?
Answer:
The shift from vacation or Yomtov mode to school routines can be tricky for children, but we can ease the transition with Advance Notice.
Instead of yelling, warnings or threats, calmly let children know what to expect. For example, say: “Today we’ll start getting back into school routines by eating dinner at 5:00pm, doing homework at 5:30, playing from 6:00 till 7:00, taking a shower from 7:15 till 7:30, setting out your clothes for tomorrow, and going to sleep by 8:15. This way you’ll be able to wake up at 7:15 tomorrow without being tired.”
By the way, having a visual schedule in your home displaying the above schedule would be super helpful!
By using the technique of Advance Notice in an assertive tone, we give children a chance to mentally prepare, and it reduces power struggles. Assertiveness means being firm yet kind. By saying, “We’ll be having dinner earlier tonight so we can get back to our regular bedtime,” we convey confidence without negotiation.
What if children resist?? Remain calm and consistent: “I know it’s hard, but this is what we’ll be doing.”
Here are more ways to be assertive while using Advance Notice:
- “Playtime ends in 10 minutes so we have time for your bath before bed.”
- “We’ll turn off screens at 7 PM so you have time to unwind.”
- “Tomorrow is a school day, so we’ll pack your backpack tonight.”
- “Since vacation is over, we’ll need to start setting an alarm again. I’ll help you get used to it.”
Using clear statements like these, paired with empathy, consistency, and follow-through, ensures children know what to expect and feel supported through the transition.
Have an easy time transitioning to the regular school schedule!
Devora