(1-minute read)
Why Anxious Kids Sometimes Struggle Socially
In last week’s blog, I addressed how ADHD affects social skills. This week, I’d like to focus on anxiety—and how it can impact social development as well.
Although we all want our children to thrive socially and have friends, for kids who experience anxiety, social situations can feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable—and even frightening.
As a result, they might struggle to connect with others—not because they don’t want to, but because anxiety is getting in the way.
In fact, some of the symptoms of anxiety create a loop that kids get stuck in—one that’s hard to break. Here’s how.
How Anxiety Impacts Social Skills
💭 Fear of Being Judged
Anxious kids often worry about saying the “wrong” thing or being perceived as “socially off.” So, it feels safer to stay silent, hang back, or prepare every word in their head before speaking. If they’re not fully prepared, they’d rather not say anything at all.
😟 Avoidance of Social Situations
The fear of judgment makes kids want to avoid social interaction altogether. They might skip birthday parties, family gatherings, group projects, or even casual conversations. The more they avoid, the fewer chances they have to practice and grow socially. Eventually, they convince themselves they’re just “not good” at socializing—and the avoidance gets worse.
😬 Physical Symptoms
Anxious kids may blush, shake, or stumble over their words during moments of stress. These physical symptoms not only make social settings more uncomfortable—they also increase self-consciousness. Kids may start avoiding socializing out of fear that others will notice and judge them for “looking weird” while trembling or turning red.
🔍 Overthinking & Misreading Cues
Because of their fear of being judged, anxious kids often misread social cues. A neutral face might seem angry. A joke might feel like a personal attack. They might hear laughter and assume they’re the target. These misinterpretations can lead to hurt feelings, outbursts, or withdrawal—further feeding the anxiety loop.
🙁 Struggles with Assertiveness
Many anxious children find it hard to be assertive—to say “no,” speak up for themselves, or express their ideas. It feels safer to be passive and avoid any possibility of conflict. But the cost of passivity is high: they miss out on meaningful conversations and opportunities to make friends.
The good news? Anxiety doesn’t define a child’s future. Social skills are just that—skills. And like any skill, they can be nurtured, practiced, and strengthened over time.
Have a fun-filled week!
Dr. Devora