(2-minute read)
Staying Connected with Your Tween or Teen:
A Few Final Ideas to Strengthen Your Bond
In the past two blog posts, we explored effective strategies for strengthening your connection with your tween or teen—fully listening, validating their perspective, and creating special one-on-one time. Now, let’s wrap up with a few final ideas to deepen your bond even further.
Step #4: Learn About Their Interests
Want an easy way to spark more conversations? Step into their world.
🏀 Does your child love sports? Learn a few key facts about their favorite teams (NY Knicks, Miami Heat, etc.) and casually bring them up in conversation.
🎶 Are they obsessed with a certain singer, comedian, or book series? Learn a song from that singer (Shmueli Ungar, Ishay Ribo, etc.), quote a joke from Langsam and Feldman, or casually drop a line from Tintin or The Kichels.
Your child might either think you suddenly became cool overnight—or that you fell off the moon—but either way, they’ll appreciate the effort!
Step #5: Take Advantage of Vulnerable Moments
Children and teens often feel more comfortable opening up about vulnerable topics at night as they wind down for bed.
💡 Use this time wisely: If your relationship has improved, gently ask, “Would you mind if I gave you a hug?” Many tweens and teens resist affection during the day, but at night, they’re more likely to accept it.
Step #6: Use Humor to Lighten the Mood
Humor is a powerful way to stay connected, especially when your child thinks you’re so old-fashioned.
😆 When your child rolls their eyes and says, “You’re so behind the times!” respond with:
“I know, right?! Can you believe I’m from the 1900s? No cell phones, no texting—if I wanted to call a friend, I had to stand next to a phone attached to the wall!”
👀 Or, practice your own eye-roll skills—so the next time your daughter rolls her eyes at you, tell her:
“I’ve been practicing too, and I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it! Here, check out my professional eye roll.”
Final Thoughts
Parenting tweens and teens isn’t about holding on tightly—it’s about finding ways to stay connected as they stretch toward independence. By listening, validating, making time for them, and using humor, you’re laying the foundation for a relationship built on trust, warmth, and mutual respect.
It’s not always easy, and there will be bumps along the way. But every effort you make—every late-night chat, every shared joke, every moment of understanding—strengthens the bond between you. And that bond will last far beyond these teenage years.
You’ve got this. 💙
Dr. Devora